Closure: An Unattainable Goal.

The permanent ending of a business or activity, a sense of finality: the sense of finality and coming to terms with an experience, felt or experienced over time, an act or process of closing something, e.g. closing an opening or terminating an activity

I got the idea for this article while watching season three of Gossip girl, the episode where Chuck Bass is talking to Nate Archibald about Blair Waldorf. Nate tells Chuck to give up the little charade that Chuck and Blair have, he tells him to attain closure on his “relationship” with Blair and Chuck replies by stating that closure is an unattainable goal.

Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy loves girl. Boy leaves girl. Boy moves on. Girl finds it impossible to move on/let go.

We have all been in a compromising situation of complex decision making where option A is staring you right in the face but option B keeps coming up in your peripheral vision—not because you don’t know what you want, which by the way is option A, but because it has become a life-threatening choice to let go of your past, which by the way is option B.

So many questions arise during the course of closure: Do I really want to let go of him? Would I lose myself in the process? Or would I lose something deeper?
A friend of mine recently explained to me that when you lose someone, it ALWAYS stays with you, constantly reminding you of how easy it is to let go. That is not total closure. That is not closure at all, because you are still conscious of the fact that someone has hurt you enough to make you not let go of yourself when entering another relationship.

I hope my words don’t get jumbled up because I am trying to type fast enough and at the same time explain this simply enough.

We have all been in situations where in our crystal clear mind, we have let go, absolutely, of option B, because it is the sensible heart and soul healing thing to do, and yet when the subject of that person comes up in a conversation, or when the activities that surrounds the existence of option B is re-surfacing, or even so much as flickers in or direction, a certain amount of hope re-surfaces with it. #fact

I have been a victim of closure. I thought I had finally suppressed the emotions I had for option B, but then recently, I was shocked when I saw a text on my phone and my heart actually still skipped a beat.

We have all been victims of that loosely termed word—closure.

Someone once told me, that trying to forget someone you once loved, maybe even your first love, is like trying to remember something that never happened.

The truth remains that total closure on one’s memories of a past love is impossible, because a song, a quote, even a smile is enough to trigger the remnants of the buried emotion that you thought you had previously put a lid on. Granted, it might not be love or even hope you feel when you remember the person, but what about hate, anger, regret, fear, sadness, anxiety, jealousy, betrayal, disgust, excitement, lust, and other emotions that are simply brewing under the surface of your heart? That is not total closure.

The truth remains that total closure is unattainable because a conscious effort to forget someone or something only further empowers thoughts of that person in your head.
#GBAM