My life is not in my hands. They say we have freewill as a result of the fact that they want us to have a freedom of choice, but it is my strong opinion, due to recent and aggravating occurrences that I have finally concluded that that my life is not in my hands. I do not have true freewill. A choice was made for me!
Before I go any further, I must express that I do not mean any harm with this; I do not mean to cause blasphemy, because in this write-up I am going to question things that people would probably shy away from, the reason for this is that I am tired, and I need a reason to hold on.
For years in education we have been given the book "The gods are not to blame" to read, and through it we are obviously being asked if the gods are to blame for the fate that befell Odewale (please refer to the play for the full story)
I partly mean this in the aspect of religion, where we say that God is the creator of everything, hence he is the one who has picked out our destiny, and freewill has then been given unto us to help us shape our lives towards our destiny right?
I think not.
I think that if we really were to have been given freewill, we should have been given the choice to choose freewill in the first place!
They say that God is Omni-potent; he sees all. God is Omni-science; he knows all.
He therefore knows that some people in this life will, no matter how hard they try, find it impossible to choose the right path of life. It is in his knowledge that people will fall, and fall and fall, no matter how many times we hear about heaven and hell, eternal doom and eternal glory. It is therefore in his infinite knowledge that he knows who will still be sent/doomed to eternal damnation no matter how hard they try, because he would know that some people, even when given a thousand freewill moments to correct their ways, will subsequently fall back to the way of the world. Does this mean then that he already knows the end of everyone?
I think that if we really were to have been given freewill, we should have been given the choice to choose freewill in the first place!
You see, we are surrounded by a world where peer pressure makes it almost impossible not to sin, even the littlest sin, and then sebi the Bible now says that there is no such thing as a little sin or a big sin. In James 2:9 we are made to understand that even if you break part of a rule/law/commandment but follow the rest, it will be assumed that you have broken the whole law….at least that is my understanding of it. So now you don’t even have to commit murder, adultery or idolatry to be a sinner. You could simply lie, steal, or be covetous about your friends new pair of Louis Vuitton Shoes.
*sigh*
I'm not seeking to offend anybody because I know that religion is a very sensitive issue, but I'm doing this because, honestly, honestly honestly, my faith was recently shaken. And maybe I'm not the only one, maybe there is someone who can make things clear to me. They say that we have freewill in everything because God is a merciful God, and he has given us the grace to choose what we want in life, to make decisions.
All I want is for all this to have been explained to me before coming to this world. In simple English. All I want is for someone to have given me the choice between freewill on earth or total controlled submission to God on earth. I don’t know what I am saying right now, and therefore should probably not say anything at all….but what we have isn't absolute freewill, because we weren't told beforehand. Because the choice was made for us to come to earth to be watched as we made mistakes over.
Frankly its like an experiment where we have been put in a maze, with two outlets, Heaven and Hell. To get to any of the outlets they have dropped temptations every 2 minutes in the form of shiny gold objects that seem to be calling your name, and they expect you not to stop. Even though there will be castigations, and chastisement and contempt and disdain, and people will constantly turn up their noses at you when you try to do the right thing. They expect you not to budge.
Pastors and Men of God make it seem so easy, because their journey to God wasn’t majorly in the 21st century with an immoral world. I wish they could be young again, be in my world for a day.
Honestly, I am tired because 2010/2011 was kinda tough, spiritually. Its difficult not to question and wonder. And the only thing that is constantly on my mind is that why wasn’t I forced to love him completely, with the love that Job had…why wasn’t I compelled to praise him continually, in the way that David did…Why wasn’t I made to trust him totally, with the purity of Abraham's heart. Because that is what I want…that would have been my choice, and with that I would have been dead-sure that I will constantly do the right thing and flee temptations.
*sigh*
We should have been given a choice between freewill on earth, and total control of servitude to God. That choice right there, if it had been given to us, would be the true meaning of freewill. What we have isn't.
#ThatIsAll
