Once upon a time in a far far away land called reality lived two young children/teenagers/adolescents/young adults who were deceived by cupid into thinking they were madly in love with each other—and they were.
From break-up’s to make up’s, from jealousy to insecurity, but they survived.
However, this is not a story about the couple who wouldn’t give up on each other, no; it is a story about the 5 naira boy who decided to revolt. For the purpose of privacy, and anonymity, the subject in this context shall ONLY be referred to as the 5 naira boy (are YOU satisfied?).
What is a 5 naira boy, you ask? I’ll tell you the history/genesis of the soon-to-be-world-wide accepted title, before embarking of the journey.
As we all know, MTN-to-MTN on Xtracool (now known as funlink) is 5 naira, only.
My 5 naira boy isn’t only my 5 naira boy, he is also my “please call me back” twenty times a day boy. Always sends that please call me back ish, so annoying, and nasty habit. It even got to a point where his messages remained unopened because the content was already known by me (e no pass *133*number#), after all, na free text.
He is also my “20-second-rule” boy. It’s like some kind of disease that even when he calls he briefs it so much that soon after I forget what the point was.
To be fair though, on a good day, my 5 naira boy could chat with me for a bit, say maybe 10 messages, or he could be as gallant as to grace us with a phone call of 3-to-5 minutes. On a good day.
Na so I vex o. money na small thing abi? Decided to show myself!
Hence begins the battle of the 5 naira boy and, well, me.
Flashed him a couple of days ago for some 20-sum minutes.
My 5 naira boy vexed back.
In his words, “You want to test me abi?”
LIKE DUH!
Please O! 5 naira boy, awake from your slumber—and he did.
Next thing I know, my 5 naira boy calls for 19minutes and says, with of the pride he can muster, “By the way, this is me flashing you back.”
Chai! Omo na die o.
Next thing I know, its 26 minutes, and longer, and longer, till I concede victory to my former 5 naira boy.
I cannot compete with this; I refuse to compete with this.
My 5 naira boy has been gingered to swagger the ginger.
Let’s go noni—except I’m not going anywhere but sitting patiently here to receive his long long phone calls.
I have been schooled in the art of MTN.
I have learnt.
Finally—he has learnt.
My 5 naira boy, the student, has become the master.
Sidenote:
*To girls, this is how you ginger your 5 naira boy!
**To my 5 naira boy, I alone know the truth, but I still love you (this makes the world know you too ^_^)
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