Death, And All Of His Friends

I've been a terrible blogger, coming on here once a month for the last three months....not like the whole world is reading :D, but i hope someone is reading, and if you are, then I apologize for the absence. Hopefully, I will begin to take my writing more serious, and blog hourly :|....

But on a more serious note, Shall we talk about dying?

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Death is one of those things that never quite happen to you. I mean you hear about it, see it, read it, and even feel it sometimes, but in some unexplainable way, it still remains this distant theory that hangs in the horizon of your life.

Except for the few(not so few) who have lost a father, a mother, a sibling…the majority of us have never experienced death "first hand". They say the first time you die is when you lose someone close to you. Agreed. But even that isn't the only way you die.

Death is always viewed with this uncertain awe, or respect, sort of. It has powers that we cannot comprehend or understand. How is it able to turn a loving father aggressive? Or make an available mother become distant within the same space?

I've never understood death, never even tried to. A couple of times I've had people die. People I knew, or even cared for, but never really had a place for in my heart, so I never felt the hurt. I had a friend die in secondary school, and I remember how everybody was so hurt, it was like the school was thrown into a week of mourning, and I knew the girl, but didn’t quite know the girl, so I wasn’t as affected. Then this other time we heard about this twin brother and sister who died side by side in a hospital. I was affected, after all, I am human, but they were my juniors, and that was my excuse for not letting their death rock my world. University has been similar. People die everywhere. I've come to understand that where 10 people are, a high probability of one of them dying exists.

#Shrug….its just life happening, passing by.

But then, that moment comes where you realize that death hasn’t been so distant after all, the moment where you lose someone, I mean really lose someone who held such a huge chunk of your heart in their hands. The moment where you become aware of that looming shadow over your head, the not-so-silent clock that has been ticking away over your life. The moment where you fear death so fucking much like as if it has crossed out every other person on its list and a neon arrow is blinking and pointing towards your name. The moment where Christianity becomes your shield, and you appreciate life more than you ever have. That moment, is the power death has over us.

I got bad news yesterday, really bad news. *sigh*. That ugly assed death had reared its smelling rotten head somewhere close to me…the thing is, sadly, it wasn’t still close enough that I'd give up on all my social vices and become a devout 24-hour Christian. It wasn’t close enough that my world stopped. It was close enough that my world paused, allowed me count my blessings, name them and move on.

But in counting my blessings, I realized that we don’t have it lucky anymore.

Nigerians used to be so confident, God's own country. We couldn’t boast of a greed free nation, or an honorable government, good roads, stable electricity, and all those other problems that make you hate Nigeria, but we've always been able to boast of a country free of natural disasters. We have people in places in Nigeria who do not even know what a hurricane is, or tornado. Everybody knows what earthquakes are, but how many people understand the magnitude of it?

To an extent we are still lucky…Boko Haram killing 12 in Adamawa is not yet terrorism abi? A pregnant woman is shot dead in Maiduguri, but that’s just one person. Being made homeless by the floods in Lagos and being killed by the ones in Ibadan and Borno is really not that serious. A 400 level boy commits suicide in a hotel room….#Shrug. Bomb kills 20 at Abuja UN House, 68 injured, fate of 20 kids unknown. We are still lucky?

Death is one of those things that never quite happens to you. I mean you hear about it, see it, read it, and even feel it sometimes, but in some unexplainable way, it still remains this distant theory that hangs in the horizon of your life. Its in the papers, on the news, but somehow you are safe because of your ignorance in believing you are safe?

There are more serious things at hand that leave no space for us to start appreciating our lives even. We are too consumed by facebook, twitter, tumblr, and smart phones(guilty, guilty, guilty) to see that our neighbors are suffering depression and a hug would cure it. Or your gate-man has AIDs and the proper exposure would help him understand it. Even the government is too busy shouting about change in Nigeria, driving towards a better Nigeria with better technology…Vision 20/20 abi? Lets rebrand Nigeria?

Its now more serious than that, deeper than twitfights and nude avatars and tweeter celebs??….deeper than football matches and clubbing on a Friday night or the beach that could so easily steal your life. Because you see, even though death has always been one of those things that never quite happen to you. I mean you hear about it, see it, read it, and even feel it sometimes, but in some unexplainable way, it still remains this distant theory that hangs in the horizon of your life, death is now closer and bigger than before. The minute you think is so far away, is now just 60 seconds away from you, and the littlest things flare up, amplify and blow up in our faces.

I will never make a joke about death. Its powers astound me. I do not fear it, mock it, or try to understand it. I simply accept it as a factor that is unavoidable, irreversible, and teetering on an unsteady line. There is no justice in death. #Shrug….it just keeps happening. And closer.

Today, hurricane Irene isn't sitting in our laps, but tomorrow?

Death has always been one of those things that never quite happen to you. I mean you hear about it, see it, read it, and even feel it sometimes, but in some unexplainable way, it still remains this distant theory that hangs in the horizon of your life. 

Not anymore.